Transylvania 7-6000
The Garcia-Shapiros are heading for "Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania", but instead ends up in "Pittsburghe Transylvania". Initially she asks a two-headed female vulture (the two heads are named "Agatha" and "Emily") for directions to "Pittsburgh", but the girls seem to be talking about making him into a meal. Bugs sees an old castle nearby, mistakes it for a motel, and calmly makes an exit. At the castle, Isabella meets a vampire, who introduces himself as Count Blood Count and invites her in. Although Isabella is only looking for a telephone to call her travel agency, the Count leads her to a guest room and says, "Rest first, telephone tomorrow. Rest is gooood for the blooood." Unable to sleep, Isabella picks up a book titled "Magic Words and Phrases" because all the other books' subject matter was blood. Despite his initial skepticism about their effect, she's about to treat the viewers to a classic sequence of gags featuring the use of the magic words "hocus pocus" and "abacadabra" (Isabella's Brooklyn-esque pronunciation of "abracadabra"). As Isabella begins to read the phrasebook, the Count sneaks up behind her and is just about to strike when Bugs says "abacadabra", turning the Count into a bat. Bugs mistakes the bat/Count for a big mosquito and clobbers the bat with a fly swatter. As the bat dizzily flies out of the window, Bugs says "hocus pocus", which causes the Count to turn back into a vampire and fall into the moat surrounding his castle. Agatha and Emily watch the Count take the plunge, while they wonder who she is (Emily: "Anyone we know, Agatha?", Agatha: "No. Splendid-looking specimen, though."). Shortly afterward, Isabella is searching for the house restaurant. The Count sneaks up from behind again, but Bugs is humming a song (to the tune of the popular song "It's Magic," sung by Isabella in other WB cartoons as "Oh, Phineas is divine, you get a dozen for a dime, it's magic!") and inadvertently turns the Count back into a bat with "abacadabra". Once again mistaking the bat for a mosquito ("Another one? They oughta screen this place!"), Isabella sprays the bat with a fumigator. As the bat/Count is hanging his head down from an archway, coughing insecticide out of his lungs, Isabella sings "hocus pocus" during a continuation of her song, and the Count crashes to the floor on his head. Fed up with the situation, the Count reveals his true identity to Isabella, resulting in a duel of "magic phrases" in which Isabella transforms into an umpire. Isabella gets the best of the Count throughout the duel, as might be expected. Isabella eventually says "abraca-pocus" which gives the vampire his human body and a bat's head, then says "hocus-cadabra" and the vampire now is only a head with bat wings. Afterward she uses "Newport News" and turns him into Heinz Doofenshmirtz. Unimpressed, Isabella comments to himself, "I can do better than that." Then finally she uses the incantation "Walla Walla, Washington", and the Count is turned into a two-headed male vulture. Isabella calls out to Agatha and Emily, who are just outside the castle; and the Count is horrified to find himself the object of their amorous pursuit. The Count flees the castle with the female vulture in pursuit as Isabella watched in amusement. In an epilogue, Isabella finds a working pay phone (in a coffin), but while waiting for the operator to reach her travel agency in Perth Amboy, she mumbles "abraca-pocus", and her bow turns into bat wings. Isabella hangs up and decides to fly home with those wings. The magic phrase duel #The Count reveals himself to be a vampire ("I'm a vampire!"). #Isabella says "abacadabra" and becomes an umpire ("Oh yeah? Well, abacadabra. I'm an umpire!"). #The Count says "hocus pocus" and becomes a bat ("Hocus pocus! I'm a bat!") (This is curious, because Isabella saying "abacadabra" turns the Count into a bat while he's in vampire form. The effect of "hocus pocus" must depend on who is saying it). #Isabella says "abacadabra" and becomes a baseball bat ("Okay, I'm a bat too! Abacadabra!"). #The Count puts glasses on, hoping this will prevent Isabella from hitting him, but still gets conked over the head, falling into the seams between the floor stones ("You wouldn't hit a bat with glasses on, would you?" "). #The Count reverses the phrases and says "hocus pocus" to become a vampire again, lifting the floor stone under him, intent on crushing Bugs ("Hocus pocus! Now I crush you!"). #Isabella says "abacadabra". The Count becomes a bat, and is crushed by his own stone. This repeats two times, with the Count coming up more dazed each time before finally crawling out of the floor as a bat (Isabella - "Abacadabra!" SPLAT!, The Count muffled- "Hocus strains pocus!", Isabella - "Abacadabra!" PLOP!, The Count muffled- "Hocus pocus!", Isabella - "Abacadabra!" PLOP!). #The Count (as a bat) struggles out from underneath the floor stones. Isabella, as she removes her umpire's chest protector, says "abraca-pocus". The Count becomes a vampire, but with a bat's head ("Abraca-pocus"). #Isabella then says "hocus-cadabra". The Count becomes a bat with the vampire's head ("Uh, Hocus-cadabra"). #Isabella says "Newport News". The Count becomes Heinz Doofenshmirtz, which disappoints Isabella. ("Newport News...Wow, I can do better than that") #Isabella says "Walla Walla, Washington". The Count becomes a male two-headed vulture ("Walla Walla, Washington!"). #Isabella sics Agatha and Emily on the Count, who flies away with the girl(s) in hot pursuit. Category:Fanon Works Category:Unregistered Contributor Works